well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
