Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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