elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!