I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.