For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
