I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
