her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
