when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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