I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
