Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
