I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
