I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
