Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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