yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
