i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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