he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
