it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am naked and annoyed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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