you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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