sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
