hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize