So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
