why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize