she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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