id be glad to
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
