So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
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I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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