No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am naked and annoyed.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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