My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
