I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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