Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
