is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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