lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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