How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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