Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
