Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
