its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
