im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
