so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
