Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Randomize
Follow @tfln