Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar

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  (516): I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar http://tfl.nu/ulgt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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  (306): We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/ti46
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."

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  (780): I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked." http://tfl.nu/ikiz
  Replies (37) Good night (4748) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol

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  (914): ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol http://tfl.nu/wxs2
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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  (630): hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister? http://tfl.nu/p7gf
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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  (843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home. http://tfl.nu/096s
  Replies (33) Good night (12124) Bad night (1224)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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  (251): Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call. http://tfl.nu/u2ur
  Replies (8) Good night (1208) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy

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  (972): Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy http://tfl.nu/ylro
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"

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  (203): some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story" http://tfl.nu/0unr
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  (707): View more from California

  The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends

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  (707): The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends http://tfl.nu/16wy
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

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  (812): It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind. http://tfl.nu/4evb
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations

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  (+61): We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations http://tfl.nu/f57w
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.

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  (570): I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo. http://tfl.nu/a7p8
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.

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  (270): Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail. http://tfl.nu/dt82
  Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."

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  (570): Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could." http://tfl.nu/hbr4
  Replies (2) Good night (441) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt

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