i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
