Quick, to the slutcave!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
