you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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