wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he shaved USA in his pubs
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
