Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
