Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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