Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm experimenting with sincerity
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
