try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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