I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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