We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize