Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
