Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
