Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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