Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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