in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
