When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
