i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
