Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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