I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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