By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
