Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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