This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
