bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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