fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize